I've been feeling pretty down lately. First, I just chalked it up to my ghost period (thanks, Mirena!) but now that my boobs are no longer tender and the bloating's gone down, I still feel a low hum of sadness. Some of it Iknow is due to very real stress. I started a new job in June, I moved in with my boyfriend this month and all the financial strain that comes with moving :|.
But I also know that a lot of it has to do with the changing seasons. I don't want to let go of summer and its energy. I've noticed a flip in recent years. When I was a sad, depressed person, I lived for fall/winter and lowkey hated spring/summer. Now that I'm generally a more happy person, I dread fall and winter and wait all year for the tiny sliver of summer we have here in Seattle. I think it has to do with the seasons matching your general disposition. And the cognitive dissonance between the season and your mental state can be really disorienting. When I was sad I hated summer because it made me feel like I was supposed to be happy and outside, when all I wanted to do was eat cookies under the covers. Now, all I want to do is run around and be outside and do everything, and fall/winter isn't always condusive to that.
This idea also reminds me of a discussion on depression had on one of my favorite episodes of Reply All, What It Looks Like:
PJ Vogt: "The world of depressed people and the world of not-depressed people, they don't have a lot to say to each other. Depressed people can make un-depressed people feel like kind of put upon and exhausted, and un-depressed people can make depressed people feel like exasperated and like they're phony and annoying. And part of the problem of sort of, for lack of a better way to put this, how to be depressed online is that those worlds don't mix well."
Jamie Keiles: "Yeah, no, I totally agree. As someone who's happy now and was once very sad, I can't have any of my feeds populated with people who are just like chronically unhappy. And when I was depressed, I couldn't have my feeds populated with people who are like chronically happy."
Me and fall/winter just don't have anything to say to each other anymore.
The start of fall is actually kind of bittersweet now that I'm a newly minted college football fan, because fall is for football. It's something I really cling onto now as I deal with the weather shift. I feel coziest in the fall tailgating with friends at home games and planted on the couch with a cider and a bag of chips watching game after game on away days.
And since this is a shopping and style blog, you can probably guess where this is going. With every changing season is an opportunity to audit your wardrobe. What pieces from last year did you love and want to bring out again? What did you purchase last year hoping it would be the piece that would change everything—the perfect black boots, the perfect oversize blazer, but it ended up being just a little bit...off? What pieces can you buy this year that will bring your whole wardrobe together in a whole new way? Be smart about it, you don't need to go out and purchase a whole new wardrobe every season.
Something I've started doing that has seriously changed the way I shop is creating a shopping list Pinterest board for a specific season. So my F/W18 board has all the purchases I'm considering laid out in one place so I can visually assess how well they work together and eliminate the pieces that look too similar or would serve the same purpose.
This was a serious ramble, but it's just where I'm at rn. Brb. This is where I'll be until next summer.